5 Guys: Eh. It's a chain.

Over the holidays, Elizabeth and I went down to 123rd street and picked up my good friend Tyler for lunch before he flew back to Chicago. We hadn't been able to squeeze in as long of a visit with him as we'd wanted, so were making the best of just having lunch together, the underlying point being that lunch was not about the food. It was about catching up and having a casual atmosphere in which to talk and enjoy our short time together.


Tyler suggested the first thing that came to mind: a chain burger joint called 5 guys. Being out of our element (midtown), we were game for whatever Tyler suggested, so off we went to this place that reportedly had "amazing" burgers.

Walking in, patrons are greeted with huge bags of the potatoes the restaurant uses to make their better-than-average french fries. As you wait on your order, stick your mitts into one of the open boxes of salty peanuts, and have a few. Nowhere to put your shells? No worries - just toss them on the floor. (Don't mistake my facetious attitude here for acceptance. I actually hate this dirty little idea. It's gross... straight up.)

Ordering is a cinch. Choose a burger or, if you're a weirdo, a hot dog. There are a couple sandwiches on the menu, but - I mean - really?? I opted for the bacon cheeseburger with lettuce, grilled onion, ketchup, mustard and pickle, with a side of fries.


These are thick-cut fries... not artfully done, but they do have a decent crispness to the outer friend shell and lots of pillowy russet goodness. I didn't finish the whole portion, which tells you something about where they stack up.

The burgers were served, to our surprise, with two thick patties of beef. And somehow, between those fatty beef patties and the ooey gooey American cheese melting all over the place, I hardly noticed (read: tasted) any of the other toppings. No crunch from the lettuce or bacon. No contrasting texture or flavor. Just softness and grease.

Eating this burger was not a bad experience, but it wasn't a good one either. Before I was even done eating, I had a clear assessment of 5 Guys: it's a step up from a Back Yard Burger - still a chain but with a better burger - but a big step down from my favorite burger in town - Blanc. Yeah, the prices are lower than at Blanc, but I don't go out for a burger often. And I can make a good burger myself. So if I am going to go spend time and money at a burger place, it needs to be special, and something I'm not going to whip up on my own grill. 5 Guys didn't give me that.


Bottom line - it's not prize winner but whaddya expect? It's a chain. 


Rating: one napkin

Chez Elle: Tres Ordinaire

I was hoping for great things out of Chez Elle, the new French-themed coffee house and creperie I visited Wednesday morning at the burgeoning intersection of 17th and Summit west of downtown and the Crossroads. This intersection has become one of the coolest little pockets of businesses in town, now home to The Westside Local, Blue Bird Bistro and Fervere bakery. Given the standard set by these establishments, I figured Chez Elle would fit right in. What I found turned out to be something a little too ordinary.

Walking in, we found ourselves behind two other parties in line for placing orders. All customers must wait in line to order regardless of whether they came for food or coffee. Ten minutes later, we were still standing there waiting to order. One simple recommendation to the Chez Elle staff as they work out their new-restaurant service kinks: employ a host/hostess and small wait staff so diners can sit quickly and order food from their table instead of having to standing in what should be just the coffee line.

Regarding the food and drink, let's start with the coffee. Now, I live in the West Plaza area, surrounded by the city's best coffee shops (Hi Hat, Broadway, Roasterie, et al), so I knew the coffee at Chez Elle wouldn't be the main attraction for me, but hoped that it would at least be decent. Unfortunately, Chez Elle commits a grievous error with their coffee drinks: assuming that all patrons will enjoy their légèreté des mains addition of ground nutmeg. Woof.

I have three rules when it comes to coffee: be hot, be rich, do NOT be sweet or secretly spiced. Nutmeg violates the latter of these rules. It overpowers the natural nuances of the beans and gives the coffee a strangely unctuous aroma (marijuana-like?!?!) and tea flavor. After a few sips, I forgot it was coffee I was drinking. Next time I'll opt for an unadulterated espresso drink instead of the drip.

The food menu, however, is absolutely tantalizing. Every single one of the options listed on the classy black chalkboards (many more than what their online menu indicates) sounds delicious. On this trip, we opted for one savory (Legume), one that would be a little sweeter (Le Franco) and a soup - French Onion... what else?

The soup arrived first, with a great aroma strong on whatever alcohol was employed (my guess is sherry). The broth was a little light - could have used a higher proportion of consume - but quite savory. Tasty. The croutons used were small but crunchy. The shredded Swiss eventually became gooey, but was added to the hot soup on its way out of the kitchen instead of being heated in an oven prior to service, so I had to wait a bit for it to melt and felt ripped off by the shortcut. Overall the soup was successful, but with the restaurant's French bent, I was hoping it would have been another level above what it was.

I started with Le Franco - a warm, eggy crepe filled with caramelized siced apples, brie and fig compote, topped with a drizzle of creme and enough walnuts to convince me they actually lose money serving this dish at $7.95. The ingredients were all tasty, but like a Chipotle burrito, didn't get mixed evenly through. So a couple bites were terrific, but others were imbalanced. Still, I'd order it again.

The Legume came filled with fresh tomato, spinach leaves, mushrooms and artichokes. All of these elements were added to the cooking crepe raw and only heated partially. Weren't seasoned at all, either. The end result was a little bland, luke-warm and watery. I wouldn't order this again, but as I write this, I feel like the description makes it sound somehow worse than it actually was.

So, lessons learned with regard to the food and coffee: avoid the legume or other crepes with cold vegetables. Avoid drip coffee and keep a close eye on the barista to ensure no nutmeg is shaken into espresso drinks. These tips employed, a fine breakfast or lunch can be had.

The final disappointingly ordinary aspects of Chez Elle were the ambiance and decor. I'd hoped for a touch of the history of the neighborhood or the old Summit Theater building - the building that Chez Elle occupies - but instead found myself in a rather strangely decorated, polished new establishment, instead.

From the new tile floor, to the ugly couch pillows, to the weird collection of lamps and furniture, it was a bit of a head-scratcher. And for a French-themed coffee shop, where I hoped to linger comfortably in a classy Provence-inspired aesthetic, I just couldn't overcome the feeling of disappointment. I'm sure many people will go and find Chez Elle's interior perfectly acceptable, if not pleasant.  But to me, kitschy Eiffle towers everywhere I looked, gimmicky indoor fountains and cheap-looking shiny new leather furniture made the place feel like something created by a fan of France, not someone actually from there.

With a long list of great sounding crepes at reasonable prices, I can safely recommend Chez Elle as a satisfactory alternative breakfast/lunch spot. Just don't go during a busy work week lunch hour, as I feel the weight and service will be nightmarish. Save your trips there for lazy weekend mornings, watch out for nutmeg, and take good company or a good book to focus your attention on, and you'll leave having enjoyed the experience.

Rating: one napkin

New Tavern on Main: Jack Gage

In my previous post on Spin!, I mentioned that the East and West sides of Main street between 49th and 51st have become much improved of late, with several new bar and restaurants opening.

I popped into Jack Gage American Tavern at 5031 Main in the old Double Dragon location Wednesday night with my wife and her sister, Abby, to see what it was like inside and determine if we would want to go back to eat sometime.

Walking in, Jack Gage feels more like a restaurant than a bar. To the left are lots of tables and sturdy wood chairs. There are a couple TV's but not so many that it feels like a real sports bar. Lots of dark wood and dark colors... rich and inviting, but still felt pretty new. Carpeting is pretty dorky - kinda corporate feeling. Our seat by the front windows, next to the door were loud and a little cold, but when the weather is less frigid outside, I suspect it would have been quite comfortable.

The crown jewel of the tavern, though, and reason for its name, is the painted wood cutout that encases the bar. According to our server, it was purchased by the bar's owners from an auction, and was once the sign used when Jack Gage traveled town to town in England back in the early 1900's, promoting  boxing events. It's a neat touch that helps bring out the theme of the bar.

Framed photos of historic moments in boxing cover the rest of the walls in the restaurant and are a nice, classy touch, but I still felt like there was more that should have been done to carry through the theme of the restaurant. The cutout on the bar is so cool the rest of the dining room seems unfinished.

Surprisingly, there is a nice bar upstairs, as well, with more cozy seating. It wasn't being used that night but when I stumbled upon it on my way to the restaurant, I gasped... it looked like the perfect area for a little private party. Very cozy and private, but accommodating, too. I'm racking my brain for reasons to suggest using it for an upcoming event.

Unfortunately, the drink prices were a little high. At happy hour, we were still paying $3.50 for Boulevard drafts - not bad but you can do better on Blvd in this town - and import beers are $5.00 or more. It reminded me of another pub in town, O'Dowd's, which strikes me as equally overpriced. The beer and wine list were extensive, though, including the Boulevard Smokestack Series. I was impressed, but due to prices, I can't see this place turning into my favorite neighborhood bar (I'd rather be across the street at the Peanut, in fact).

Didn't eat anything but the menu looked pretty disappointing. Fried and fatty were the themes, true to most pub food but not special enough to get me to bite. The owner also owns Baja 600 on the Plaza, which stunts my optimism that there is much promise for improvement at Jack Gage (I've never had a great meal at Baja).

In the end, I don't see myself returning anytime soon unless I hear that the prices come down or the menu changes. The restaurant's ambiance wasn't special enough to overcome the sting to the wallet and there are better alternatives in the area. The food looked equally pricey and like a collective yawn. Let's see how long it lasts...


Rating: No Rating